By Seb Wheeler & Mixmag Staff | 11/26/13 | Mixmag

The Txter
The kind of body language preferred by moody grime DJs trying to look nonchalant by constantly checking their phone in the time between clanging mixes together.
Examples: Darq E Freaker, Preditah

The Cry-baby
These DJs can be seen weeping with happiness at every euphoric/mindblowing musical moment, often going so far as to shed actual tears in the booth.
Examples: Prosumer, Move D

The Finger Piano-player
These DJs do little but look cool for their whole set – apart from when a piano comes in and they nonchalantly raise one hand to play along to the riff.
Example: Dixon

The Orgasmatron
A state of intense concentration and pleasure reached by DJs who become locked into their selection on a very deep level, resulting in the inadvertent exhibition of their sex face.
Example: Seth Troxler

The Libido
Similar to the bobber, but instead of leading with the shoulders this lot lead with the hips, adding a hint of sexual thrust to what is in fact just someone fiddling with a mixer.
Examples: Solomun, Shaun Reeves

The Bobber
The pose for DJs who want to assume an air of technicality while also showing they are locked into a groove. They bob to the beat while EQing in earnest.
Examples: Maceo Plex, Maya Jane Coles

The Lean-back
Often occurs as the prelude to a full-on head-mosh when the tune drops. Habitual proponents risk displaying the contents of their nostrils to the crowd – not to mention whiplash.
Examples: Skrillex, Rusko

The Down-low
Adopted by DJs who get so into mixing that the top half of their body gravitates toward the mixer and they end up performing at a 90-degree angle as if suddenly struck by appendicitis.
Examples: Skream, Jackmaster

The Cowboy
They twirl one hand in the air like they’re lassooing cattle while pretending to whistle and side-stepping like a square-dancing rodeo redneck. Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rawhide!
Examples: Davide Squillace, Luciano, Reboot

The Jesus
The ultimate pose favoured by many big-shots; with arms outstretched like Jesus on the cross these DJs probably lap up the crowd’s adoration while secretly thinking, “Yes, I am good”.
Examples: Armin van Buuren, Swedish House Mafia

The Artist
Every turn of a knob or flick of a fader is a precise movement akin to an artist gently applying the finishing brush-strokes to a timeless masterpiece. Albeit with people shouting ‘Brap!’
Examples: Icicle, Rockwell

The Pointer
The standard pose adopted by many a mainstream millionaire – and those who aspire to be them. Far more acceptable in Ibizan superclubs than a half-empty Sheila’s Wine Bar in Swindon.
Examples: Guetta,Tiësto, Ferry Corsten

[Illustration: Elliot Thoburn]